Off Topic – Re-evaluating Your Relationship As A Couple


Written by Robert Voss

When dating a person for a while one should re-evaluate their relationship as a couple before getting married. First off, I am not a psychologist, but I am only writing about my experience. I recommend sitting down with the other person to see if everyone is going well with the relationship. Sometimes there are red flags from the start. Why stay in a relationship that will not work in the long term and save one some headaches. I have seen this personally for myself. For Example, after dating this one girl after three dates, I had to ask myself some questions. Is this relationship is it going to work for the long term? Then red flags started appearing in my head. I know I needed to break it off before it gets too serious and causes headache in our relationship.

I have compiled a list of red flags on certain topics in a relationship. Sometimes we can live with some of the red flags and sometimes we can’t. It is a decision that you will have to make on your own. Before rushing into any decisions, think about it before moving forward with your relationship.

Here are some red flag topics to come up. These red flag topics are not in any such order.

  • How does your date spend their personal money? Are they big spenders or do they stick with a budget. Do they over order at restaurants and or buy high-end merchandise at retail stores? If they have a high income and can afford than it is fine. Uncontrolled spending is not good for anyone.
  • Driving Habits – Do they text and drive? Do they drive super fast when they don’t care about anyone else inside their vehicle. Have they gotten numerous warnings and traffic tickets? Have they had a few DUIs in the past couple of years? Their bad driving habits might hit you in the pocket book later on.
  • How do they keep their household? Do they a clean or dirty place they live at. Is his or her bedroom a mess? Than this may carry into your relationship once you live together. If you are a clean person most of the time than it may not work if they are dirty style of living. I have seen numerous times when my dates had messy bedroom and were ashamed to show it too me. It is not my fault, they invited me into their house and it was a mess. This is a red flag if they have at messy place.
  • Are they affectionate towards you? Do they hug and kiss you or give you the cold shoulder because they are not into you yet. They may have been in a bad mood for that day. When they see you are they excited about seeing you or just acknowledge that you are there. This is a red flag if their not affectionate towards you.
  • Is this person good at sharing anything? Some dates have a hard time sharing anything with you or do they just keep it all to themselves? Some people are plain selfish and are inconsiderate towards others. This is a red flag for not sharing with you. A relationship is about sharing together. I guess they never got that memo.
  • Do they talk about there past relationships all the time? One might bring it up one time and then leave in the past where it belongs. No one wants to hear you talk about your ex-lover all the time. This person might still have feeling for this person. Probably not the relationship you would want to be in at this point. This is considered a red flag.
  • Is this person financially in debt up to their eyeballs? Why should you have to bail them out once you get married to him or her. It was not your problem to start with. Each person should have his or her own finances in order before deciding to get married. This is a red flag.
  • When it come to personal hygiene do they bad body odor? If they smell bad you will probably want to still around them very long. Some people will put on heavy perfumes and colognes on them selves which is not good. To me this would be a red flag.
  • Is the other person mentally stable? Does this person act normal. These are questions for a psychologist to answer. No one wants to be in an abusive relationship that is either verbal or physically. Someone who is mentally unstable is a red flag.
  • Does the other person have a job or a career? This does not include a person living off of inheritance. Most of us have to work for a living. Someone who doesn’t have a job and or is not looking for job is considered free loader. Watch out for these types of people. Most of us have decided on a career path for life and are working towards our goals. If they don’t have a career and goals in mind than it is a red flag.
  • How is their time management? Are they late to everything all the time? They probably don’t have good time-management skills. Showing up for a date late without a good excuse is never good. Your time is just as valuable as theirs. Than this is a red flag.

There are many other red flags to list. Make sure you make the right direction with your relationship with other person. Take some time to reflect on that special someone. Is she or he worth it? If not, then there are other fish in the sea. Good luck with your relationship.

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