By Mike Jones
Note: This is an adult topic and not meant for children. Anyone 18+ or older may read this article.
I am writing about this topic on adultery-affairs because I know a few people in my life that have committed adultery. I’m against adultery in the first place. To better understand the causes and effects of adultery I decided to write this article. For people who think adultery is acceptable it is really not. I am not a physiologist and only writing based on my experience and interviews with people who committed adultery. I have never committed adultery myself. But, I have felt the pain from it.
Who commits adultery? Well, most people think it happens when single ladies going after married men, co-workers, friends, and neighbors. It is all about the fantasy and glamour. A person acts out in their emotions, pent up sexual desires, money wants, and much more. But in reality it is about sexual service and gratification between two people. It is not based on love either. However, it is believed both parties have a high libido and their partners are not able to keep them happy in bed at home with their spouse. So they secretly have an affair. Is this right to have one? Just think about this question.
What are the religious views on adultery and affairs? At one church service I attended, the Pastor preached about adultery being a sin. But he did not stop there. The church condones any form of adultery and or affairs. Adultery is listed as one of the Ten Commandments. Married couples should be faithful to one another. However when one partner is bored, they tend to stray into an affair. God forbids adultery and affairs. Enough said.
Where does adultery take place? I have seen it happen in many places from a hotel rooms, offices, in vehicles, and everywhere else in between too. It is quite obvious when one observes a couple having an affair, which they don’t belong together. Most people see it happen and keep their mouth shut. Then rumors circulate around the community. This is not a good thing for anyone.
Here are some hints that a person is having an affair, an individual will straight out lie to you, there body odor may smell different with cologne/perfume on them, there personal appearance seems a bite off, they are secretly texting their lover all the time, they spend more of their time with that other person away from you, insecure about themselves, and much more.
If you question a person who is having an affair they will deny the whole thing. Then blame you for bring it up. Please mindful of this. Get out of that relationship if you feel your partner and or spouse is having an affair. Find out the facts first before making any decision.
Once someone is having an affair they can’t stop themselves until their life is filled with a lot of drama. Once they have one affair, they will tend to have many more in their life too. This should not be a surprise you. The only relationships they are looking of are hook-ups, friends with benefits (FWB), prostitutes, and escorts. They don’t want to be tided down to one person. These individuals may have a commitment problem.
During the affair look for these signs that they can’t communicate effectively with their family, they can’t focus on their work duties; they use people to get what they need. Their behavior may look strange.
If you think someone is having an affair, I suggest hiring a private investigator to confirm if your partner is having an affair. Either way you will know the truth and make a decision to stay or leave them. This is not an easy task to think about.
I have interviewed and observed affairs for these few stories, which I want to share with you. The names and locations involved in these stories have been removed to keep their privacy.
Here is Affair Story #1. When I was married, I observed my sister-in-law hanging out with another guy, which was a family friend at the time. It did not make sense. I informed my brother-in-law that I saw your wife with another guy in the vehicle. I’ll pretty sure he questioned her. Over time, it was believed that both the wife and the family friend got romantic over time. The relationship with the husband and wife were having issues. Even I noticed this relationship problem. It was very obvious. At some point, the husband and wife filed for divorce. The ex-wife ended up moving and marrying the family friend. My opinion she was never loyal and faithful to her ex-husband. He did not deserve it because he is a true gentleman. He has since moved on with his life.
Affair Story #2. This story involves two people who are in the broadcast news business. The male was married at the time and the female was single. She did not know that he was married. They had a fling on the side. Eventually, the wife found out and everything came crashing down. Their affair was even published in the news too. Both of them ended up going separate ways. Today, the female’s career in the news business is having a hard time getting jobs. She was branded with a bad reputation even though she did nothing wrong. This is something that she pointed out to me and did serve being branded in this way. I guess it is a double standard in our world today.
Affair Story #3. A local grocery store general manager, who was married and had a mistress on side with a kid, and was having an affair. Many store employees at the grocery store knew what was going on. The wife did not know about the affair because he was secretly doing it behind her back. Rarely, would you see the mistress inside the store because it would draw too much attention to her self. This went on for many years. It is unknown what the outcome was. Since then he moved out of the area.
Affair Story #4. This one involves a male attorney and a female paralegal that used to work together. I knew both parties involved at different times. Both of them are married. Both spouses don’t have a clue their spouses were having an affair.
Still they found time to have an affair. When they worked together they would do their thing on the weekend at the office and also met up outside the office too. Eventually they drew attention to them selves in the law firm. The law firm fired the female paralegal. She left and found another job at another law firm. Their affair did not stop there. That attorney would drive down to her new place of work and pick her up for lunch. This was quite obvious and confirmed by someone I know. Still today, they maybe are having the affair. It is just a matter of time before they are caught.
Affair Story #5. This story is based on a rumor and could be true. A high profile male who runs his own successful company and is married with children and a professional female looking for a her career advancement. Many people are wondering how she got the job. Her job skills are not great. There were rumors suggesting that she was sleeping with the business owners and managers to get a job and a promotion. However, she was living a double life going out on regular dates to seem normal. Eventually, she cuts the regular dates to focus her time on the business owner affair. It is unknown how long this is going to last until someone gets hurt on both sides. I have even told her having an affair is not good. She denied ever having an affair. Clearly, she thinks there is nothing wrong with having one.
Affair story #6. This is one of my personal stories. When I was married I never cheated on my spouse. I considered it wrong and would never do it. I believe in loyalty to your spouse. There were signs in my marriage near the end something was going on with my wife at the time. I felt she abandon me. She claims she was working. To this day, I still don’t believe her. In the end, I ended up getting a divorce to get out of that relationship. Has her quality life gone up? The answer is no, quite the opposite. She is struggling to stay afloat. The moral of this story is thinking before you act. There are repercussions for your own actions.
Here are the negative effects of having an affair. Both parties can possibly get sexual diseases, rumors about their relationship, emotional trauma, break up of families, divorce from your spouse, and much more. Many people do not think of the negative effects when going through an affair. They focused on the affair and having fun. When one affair ends in their life, they tend have another affair. The type of behavior doesn’t stop until they realize when they are doing is wrong. Society should not tolerant this type of behavior.
Before someone goes through with an affair, they should communicate with their partner and or spouse what there needs and wants are. It is all about listening to your spouse. If you feel you are not being heard then consider attending marriage counseling. There maybe help clear the air so you can have a better relationship with your spouse. The end goal is to be happy together. Not be miserable for the rest of their life.
After an affair has come to a close, there will be a lot of hurt and pain on both sides. These affairs do not last forever. Most people will agree with me that these are not true romantic relationships. Women tend to get branded as a mistress, bad girl, slut, hoe, and much more. Once they get branded in the community they have a hard time shaking it off. This will lead to less quality of life. Employers’ will think twice about hiring them because of work of mouth reputation. There are ethics and moral that comes into play with having affairs too.
Plus, affairs can destroy a normal family with a husband and wife along with the kids too. This breaks up the family and sends the wrong message to children that affairs are acceptable. Parents should always set an example. This should be taken seriously.
Finally, I am against all adultery/affairs period. People need to have more respect for their relationships that are built on love, loyalty, companionship, trust, and much more. This is something that went out the window many years ago. The aftermath of people having affairs cannot continue with a normal life. This article was written because of the pain that I have gone through and don’t want to anyone else endure these types of situations. If you see someone having an affair, please tell him or her to please read this article. This will give them insight why they should not continue having any type of affair. I personally would not date someone who has ever had an affair. Well, I hope you enjoyed this article and to love and respect one another.
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Source of information: First hand experience